I can’t help but think about how hard it is to lose a friend to death. I never thought that it would be something I’d understand, at least to the extent that I do at 27. Yes, of course everyone will experience loss at sometime in their life, but you always assume it’s going to be when you’re old. The wrinkly, white hair kind of old. I guess life never turns out how we expect to.
When I see someone younger than me losing a friend my heart only breaks all over again like it’s happening to me… but worse because it’s not to me. I know how it feels. I know how it feels to be completely hopeless, empty, hurt, heartbroken, sad, lost, and knowing there’s nothing we can do to bring that person back but cry our eyes and heart out. I remember uncontrollable sobbing and silent, still tears streaming down my face. For these experiences to be happening to someone who has yet to really have gone through much (not that at 27, I have either) is so sad to me. An 18 year old boy, who loses his best friend has to experience the pain of death before his first broken heart? Or college frat party hangover? Why can’t it be like slowly building a tolerance for the cold pool, inching in one stair at a time. Because life never turns out how we expect it to.
Obsessing Over: My new vacuumed sealed reusable water bottle by Thermos. It keeps my drink hot for 12 hours and cold for 24 (not kidding). Get one.
Working On: The same work project I have been trying to finish all morning (it’s Friday, give me a break).
Thinking About: how I’m going to make my Halloween costume! Cookieee cookieee cookie!
Anticipating: Chile in December! Only one more flight to book (SantiagoàPunta Arenas) to get me to Patagonia on the second leg of my South American tour! Yipppeee!
Listening To: My Spotify playlist Hats & Boots (prepping for Stagecoach), more specifically “Springsteen” by Eric Church
Drinking: Water from my Thermos, but thinking about opening this pack of Apple Cider soon.
Wishing: For a positive change to just “happen.” I’ve been on and off in a rut and really just trying to make a new routine, but having a difficulty finding it. There have been a few big changes happening around me so hopefully I can just hang in there until the storm passes.